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A Story of Unintentional Co-Sleeping

co-sleeping
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co-sleeping

Parenting is hard. Especially when you are moving. Last year we moved to Mexico. This was a big deal for our family, right? Before we moved we got rid of Sawyer’s crib and he was sleeping on a toddler bed in his own room. He was doing a great job of going to bed by himself and falling asleep pretty quickly. Then we moved 2000 miles away to a new house in Mexico. We tried putting Sawyer to sleep in his own room and on his own twin size bed. He shares a room with his little brother just like our two girls share a room. Sawyer was having a difficult time though. I figured it was because of the move, so I didn’t push him. Every night I let him come into bed with me and Brad.

I said I would never do this. I didn’t want to be like some of my friends and have a five year old in bed with me every night. I needed my space and my precious sleep. I know some people like the idea of co-sleeping but I am not one of them. Neither is Brad. Our babies sleep with us when they are sick, when they have a nightmare, and occasionally when I was breastfeeding them. That’s it. And now I was letting my three year old sleep with me. I thought eventually he would transition over to his own bed. It was not happening soon enough.

At first we attempted to have Sawyer sleep on the floor next to our bed. We were taking baby steps. I think that lasted maybe one night. Then our girls said he could sleep with them in their double bed. I was desperate, and it worked. I was getting a good night sleep again and Sawyer was happy. This arrangement went on for several months. Three babies in one bed. They played and cuddled, and it was sweet. We knew that this would not and could not last forever. But with all the changes the move brought, we didn’t want to put our foot down and make Sawyer sleep in his own room.

I still don’t know whether this was a good parenting move or not. But three kids in one bed had come to an end. They were growing and needed more space and they were fighting before sleep overtook them. The girls were ready to kick Sawyer out of their room. The decision was made. Sawyer was moving to his own room and his own bed. Let me tell you, this was not easy. There was screaming and crying. The girls felt bad for their little brother and tried to sneak him into their room at night. Sawyer tried to sleep with Tristan in his crib but Tristan was not having any of that. “Get out of my bed! You are bothering me!” Tristan screamed in baby language. No one was happy.

Fortunately this only lasted about a week, for maybe a half hour every night. Then everyone started to adjust. Now Sawyer shares a room with his brother and sleeps in his own bed. Before they go to sleep you can either hear the boys laughing or screaming at each other. They usually quiet down pretty quickly. Sometimes Sawyer will still try to sneak into his sisters’ room but not very often. Finally only ten months after moving to Mexico my three year old is back in his own bed! Whoo hoo! I am glad we made it past all this unintentional co-sleeping. Sweet dreams! Signing off, Tina, mom of four, always learning how to parent, after the fact.

11 thoughts on “A Story of Unintentional Co-Sleeping

  1. Cathy - Life's Hidden Treasures says:

    I’ve been there! I said I would never co-sleep, but my daughter ended up sleeping with me until she was 5, with a sleep with mommy night every Sunday after that…now she is grown, and my 8 year old son has a sleep with mommy night every Friday…i assume he will grow out of it eventually, LOL…but I also know these years will go by much too quickly, so I continue to co-sleep one night a week :)

  2. Lauren Tamm says:

    Oh my goodness! Such an honest story. I always enjoy it when moms share it like it is. We just moved to Japan and there were a few nights when our son slept with us…we never, ever do that usually. But it’s a lot of change and he is little and doesn’t understand. Thankfully once we finally got out of temporary lodging and back to the crib, he transitioned pretty nicely after a few nights. We were super consistent and tried to offer as much support as possible, but it wasn’t always easy trying to get our son’s sleep back on track. Thank you for sharing. It’s so encouraging to see a mom do what needs to be done.

  3. Brittany says:

    That sounds like quite a process! I only have one, so I can’t even imagine the struggle that you must have endured. I was very encouraged when you said that the tantrums only lasted a week. It’s a good reminder that, although things are heated and seemingly eternal in the moment, they have a way of working themselves out in the long run. We just have to be willing to put the effort in when it’s hard. Thanks for the reminder, and best of luck to you!

  4. Heather @ This is me... says:

    We only moved 4 miles and it set my little guy back bigtime! He went from confidently sleeping in his own room to my room… which was not ideal! Glad you are all in a routine now that now that works for everyone! :)

  5. Nataly Auger says:

    Hi Tina,

    Your experience brings back a lot of memories! My three children are now all grown up, but when they where young, my girls were allowed to sleep with me when my husband was working nights. It was really fun to watch them sleep beside me!

    I can understand that moving so far can be a huge change for them, especially when they are really young. Glad you finally succeeded in putting everyone in their own bed so you and your husband can have a good night sleep!.

    Best of luck in your new life! #ibabloggers :)

  6. Mommy's Kitchen says:

    That’s how our bed looks !! But you know what they grow out of it at one point !! Sometimes I get really mad when they ask but one look at their puppy faces and we both give in !! Enjoy the ride :)

  7. Melanie says:

    I’m sort of torn in the middle on the subject of Co-Sleeping. I want my daughter to be able to sleep in her own bed without any complaining but also I see how much she enjoys sleeping with me. It’s kind of like, I want to give her yummy treats but also want her to like her vegetables too, same sort of thing – a balance. I started an every Friday night “sleepover” with her, where we would turn our couch into a bed,watch a movie together with popcorn and snacks before falling asleep on the couch. That was working well, although I have to say, the last month I have given in and let her sleep in my bed, pretty much the whole time. I found her noticeably more calm during the day when we co-sleep, however it brought some new challenges like her not wanting to fall asleep till I’m in bed. So in the near future, I will work on getting her back into her bed, with maybe two nights a week co-sleeping.

    • Tina says:

      Melanie, we are all different people and different parents. With co-sleeping it’s not really what is right or wrong, it’s just what kind of different you prefer, si? I hope it all works out for you :-)

  8. Orana says:

    I love how your boy´s little fingers are coming through the holes in the manta. So Precious.
    With all our moving around we´ve had some crazy co-sleeping combinations, so I can relate! My Big Kiddo just went on to sleep in his own room a couple of months ago after sleeping with us since birth. Small Kiddo still sleeps with us but I think soon she will be asking for her own bed. Lovely story. I love your blog name!

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